In my last post about anger I said I would talk about one of the reasons why I believe I'm so angry. There are several, actually, (HA!) but I'm just going to talk about one for now.
I asked my pastor a year or so ago if he had any literature on how to deal with anger. He gave me a short packet and it said something like (I'm paraphrasing), "if you are dealing with anger it usually means there is something else in your heart that needs to be addressed." Basically, anger can be a symptom of another problem. That really made sense to me.
I knew it then, but have really been thinking about it a lot recently (thank you, Beth Moore) and I believe some of my anger comes from unforgiveness--for myself mostly.
That same friend that gave me the advice in my previous post also gave me this verse:
The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior [Who saves]! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing. -Zeph 3:17 (Amp)
She knew that it's easy to let the devil take your past and run with it. Which is something I allow too often. For some reason I feel the need to punish myself by not letting things to--by not forgetting. This is true especially when it comes to how I've screwed up as a mom. Even though God Himself forgets my sins and separates them from me as far as the east is from the west. How incredible!!
[A]s far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. -Psalm 103:12
When a thought comes to my mind of any past sin, I do not have to dwell there. I can choose to change my thoughts and stand on the forgiveness I've already received. I'm trying to get into the habit of saying out loud, "Thank you, Lord, for forgiving me!" when I'm reminded of a mistake.
I do think this problem of dwelling on my mistakes directly affects how angry I am. It's like I have all this pent-up emotion and spiritual weight that I'm not meant to carry so instead of my choosing to give it to the Lord, it manifests itself as anger.
Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. -Psalm 55:22a
God is so unbelievably faithful. It blows my mind how much He loves me. He see me through the blood of Jesus. We are (I am) as righteousness!!
We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. -Romans 3:22 (NLT)
Making an effort to really meditate on these Truths has given me so much peace and allows more room in my heart to be filled with good things:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. -Galatians 5:22-23 (NASB)
In no way am I saying that I don't, or won't, still struggle. I'm just determining to make a conscious choice to obey and stand on God's Word. I do NOT have to let my anger define me! The buck stops HERE. I am MORE than a conqueror in Jesus! (Rom 8:37)
Read Part 3